Who's the adult here?

Last night I was trying to herd the kids upward to bed when Caitlin asked me about having some candy. I told her she could have a piece tomorrow because she'd already brushed her teeth. Then we got everyone in to bed and tucked in and I snuck downstairs for a few mini peanut butter cups. I parked in my bedroom to indulge in my reward while going through the Sunday paper's ads. After ripping off the shiny metallic wrapper and popping one in my mouth, my bedroom door was opened. Caitlin was coming in to let me know she was just up to go potty again and began walking toward me to give me a big hug. I set the paper down on top of the evidence and turned toward the hug she was offering. We had a short little chat. After a hug, she was off for the potty. As she got to the door she turned around and said, " Mommy?" "yes?" "I know you are having candy right now." And she turned away and went about her business and then back to bed.

We are still alive!

Apologies for the 3 month long lapse there. Life, and all.....

We have been VERY busy growing and learning and managing chaos, so no worries--all is well.

I have been asked to update the blog a lot lately, so here goes.

Caitlin is a busy bee this summer--soccer clinic and tap class on Tuesdays, swimming on Saturdays, pre-K three days per week (and don't you dare call it preschool! she already graduated from preschool). I swear I will not be an overscheduler! It's just so easy to try some things out in the summer when daddy's not at work all the time. My ever-patient husband has been working with her on sight words and she loves it--John's so awesome and has made up a game to help her learn and she is really taking it all in. She continues to make us laugh every day.

Yesterday I was scratching a mosquito bite and she said "you will make that bite worse if you scratch it," I said "really? I don't think so. who told you that?" She replied "mom? I know a lot about life."

Ryan is also super busy. His main focus is language right now. He signs "all done," and "milk," (even though he doesn't drink milk). waves hello/goodbye. He is saying new words each day and pointing at everything. On June 21 I wrote down all the words he had at that point: baby, diaper, dada, bye-bye, puppy, uh-OH, cracker, go, ball, peekaboo, all done, book, up. Since then he's added: deck, click, cup, bottle, hi, kitty. (you will notice this list does not contain the word mama). We are left with only a few minor feeding issues--like he still drinks a bottle--we have given up the battle realizing that he will likely not go to college on a bottle, so hopefully that will work itself out. We've tried a few bootcamp style cold-turkey no-bottle-only-sippy-cup challenges and he will just not drink anything for days, so we waved the white flag and gave up. bottles it is. I'm still not convinced he knows how to recognize hunger/thirst yet--I think he eats now because he finally likes it and drinks because we force the issue to a point. happily though, we have transitioned to a regular kids formula instead of the fancy, schmancy prescription formula and he is drinking a regular toddler formula that I can just get at the regular people store like a regular mom--amazing! The tough part is that he still needs MAJOR distractions in order to drink--like Go, Diego, Go!--nothing else will quite do the trick. You will notice that "go" and "click" are in his language repertoire--that is no accident, thanks to Diego. So, we plug in Diego 4 times a day for 5 minutes each while Ryan chugs a 6 ounce bottle each time. Small price to pay for not using the g-tube (since April!!! can you believe it???!!!)--and any parent that's battled feeding/oral issues with a kid can probably understand why we are letting this go on like this. In my self-righteous first-time-mom days of parenting, I would've never imagined. But here we sit. happily. watching Diego and his dumb camera. oh well. CLICK!

Nora is busy on language as well, but also really working on motor skills. She easily stacks the stacking rings and is working on the shape sorter--having an awesome attention span, she works on these things for like 10-20 minutes at a time. She is walking now too--not independently, but definitely taking 10+ steps and walking across the room on occasion. She is nodding as of a few days ago and nods "yes" to every question almost. She says: uh-oh, dada, cracker, ball, kitty, cheese. she signs: more, all done, milk.

The babies play really well together when they are physically separated--like they babble back and forth and mimic each other when they are in their cribs or highchairs. But put them on the floor together and it is one brawl after another. Ryan grabs whatever he wants, regardless of who is playing with it at the time--he only wants what someone else has. Nora only plays with things that no one else is touching, but completely falls apart if anyone takes her stuff from her. She gets really attached to random tiny things and crawls around with them and then her heart is broken if something (ryan) happens to it--or if she pulls the vent cover off and throws her precious item down the vent. can we please learn our lesson on that trick yet? anyway. Ryan hits with books, hand, toys, whatever--mostly onto Nora's head. She's pretty tough though--she doesn't cry as much as I would. But mostly they are at a very precious stage right now of learning to communicate and being sweet. It's really fun to watch this phase as there are new things each day.

(ignore the screaming Ryan--he wants the camera. always.)

And away they go....

the man whose voice you hear in Nora's video, is actually me + laryngitis. About 10 days ago, I took this video, she was just starting to crawl forward, needing a little incentive still. Now? forget it. she's everywhere. we've rebabyproofed as much as possible but she still finds things to get into. She's very happy chasing the kitties, now saying "diddy" as her first word even. eating finger foods...and when I say finger foods, I mean cheese (shredded, not cubed, don't even try it) and goldfish crackers. She sweetly eats the foods she's fond of and sneaks the rest of the food to the side of her tray, where it will stay until she's really done and then they start making it to the floor, piece by piece, because then all the cats will gather round and pick up the scraps. Nora is very happy and easily impresses herself--when she does something particularly noteworthy, she looks at me, raises her eyebrows, smiles and claps. stunned with her brilliance. She's not a huge fan of naps. She has 6 teeth--4 across the top and 2 on the bottom. She continues to be my early-riser, up around 6ish with me every morning, but I don't mind--we nap and nurse for about a half an hour before anyone else gets up and then she helps me get Ryan's formula made before we go wake him up.

Ryan has the cutest hop-crawl ever. It's part bunny, part seal. He's got the alternating hands down, but the legs only alternate sometimes--more often they move as one unit, hoping, to catch up with those fast arms. Learning to crawl has made a huge difference in his happiness quotient. Three days ago, he was happy in two places: crib and mommy's arms. Now, he's busy pulling CDs down from the shelf, getting into Caitlin's art supplies, pulling the blinds down, taking out the tupperware and pots and pans, chasing cats. Ryan went from being a difficult eater, needing OT, to just eating pretty much anything. He uses his hand like a rake and shovels in whatever food I put on his tray. And once he got the hang of self-feeding, he started projectile spitting his purees at us, so we totally gave up instantly. i was pretty much over spoon-feeding two babies simultaneously three times a day anyway. Ryan loves his naps and bedtime--he has a little lovely / transitional object blanket that he snuggles with. He LOVES, LOVES to laugh. If you laugh, he will laugh. If you put something on his head, he will laugh. If you play peek-a-boo, he will laugh. If you jump, he will laugh. And, he has the best laugh--strong, belly giggles--love it. I spend a lot of time each day doing dumb things to make him laugh. He has 8 teeth now. Doing better with dealing with new faces--still clingy though. Health-wise, he's doing great.

Triple threat...

Ryan and Nora were in various stages of learning to crawl....one of Ryan's stages was the backwards shuffle, he got stuck a few times, and frustrated. thankfully, he is persistent and kept on until he could do it the right way.

Meet Cousin Jacob

Nora and I took a 2ish day long trip to South Carolina to visit Rebecca, Don and finally meet Mr Jacob after four long months. We had a really nice time despite our trip nearly getting sabotaged by the weather--they got 5 inches of snow the night before my trip and, of course, in SC, that means all things come to a complete stop....including the power in Rebecca and Don's house. Fortunately, all was well, and the power was restored before we boarded the plane and we had lovely, warm days for our trip. We arrived Saturday, hung out, caught up, played. Sunday we spent the day at the aquarium in Charleston and then walked around Charleston, babies strapped in carriers. We all got a good workout--and I got to breathe fresh air and see the sun for the first time in a while, which was very nice. Nora was well behaved-except her usual naptime raging. She was a handful on the plane and I worked my butt off to keep her quiet during 4 separate flights, but she was great--only one total raging meltdown for the last 10-15 minutes on the first flight (God Bless that man who sat next to me and kept telling me it was OK!)

Cousins...

am I always this much taller than Rebecca? weird.

One year ago....

(this was written Saturday 2-20-10...I didn't post it until Monday b/c of some issues getting the pictures up)

Feb 20, 2009 was the worst experience of my life up until that point (little did I know there would be worse things to come). The past year has been life changing to say the least--not just because we are now a family of 5, including twins, but because of the way these twins entered the world--the uncertainty, the prognoses, the NICU, the TPN, the ventilators, the surgeries, the emergencies, the NEC. John and I talked a lot over the past month or so about how this day would be---would it be Happy First Birthday, Nora and Ryan or would it be the one year anniversary of the beginning of a time of hell on earth for us? I think it ended up being somewhere in the middle.

I'm really not that sentimental of a person, but this time, this anniversary has been bringing me down. I look at my babies--growing, thriving, miraculous, and I should be celebrating how amazing these guys are--and, believe me, I am thankful and humbled and amazed and filled with gratitude--but, the memories are tough. Many of the worst times are fresh in my head as if they happened yesterday--yet they happened a lifetime ago. I am left wondering if their birthday will ever just be their birthday--a day to celebrate their time here--to celebrate how far they've come and how much they've enriched our lives as individuals. But, so far, on this first birthday, the flashbacks are casting a shadow on things unfortunately. Sure, we said Happy Birthday to them and were thrilled to talk to family and friends who called to say Happy Birthday. And we agree about the amazing strides they've made--I'm not faking the phone call happiness. I'm happy. I'm happy for them, for us. I'm thankful to God to our friends and family. But it doesn't feel quite like a birthday should for me. I feel like they are getting ripped off to some extent b/c of all the memories--they don't know it but I do. And please don't let my weirdness prevent any Happy Birthday wishes to them--I'm not falling apart about it or anything, I promise. and THANK YOU for all the birthday wishes and celebratory emails, phone calls and hugs--We all appreciate it.

So, today I planned a really fun day for John--a surprise poker night with a few buddies. Planning kept me busy and it also felt like a little bit of a redemption for John's lost birthday last year when we were praying for Ryan to turn a corner for the better after a series of bad reports from the neonatologist--we had nothing to celebrate last year. and I also blew it on Father's Day 2009 for the record. So, John is currently playing poker with some of his buddies--I hear laughter, I see friendship, I see John smiling. It is a good day. Next year we'll have a party for Nora and Ryan--hopefully there will be much healing of our spirits in between now and then.

In the meantime...here are my one-year olds. i guess. they sure don't look like one-year olds, but they are doing great things. They are both getting all over the place--Nora rolling and scooting, getting up on her knees and revving up to crawl soon, even taking a "step" with her arms here and there--Ryan moves by rotating in a circle on his belly and thrashing his legs around which sometimes throws him forward, sometimes backward--on the kitchen floor, he looks like an accomplished breakdancer.

my sunday

John took Caitlin to Sesame Street Live (thank you Grandma Joanie and Grandpa Buddy!) for her birthday....I complained about not getting to go. a lot. But, I did get to spend the day with these precious gifts. Nora's just learned to clap and is pretty impressed with herself. Ryan's a seasoned clapper but has become a bit of a jumping bean in the exersaucer. enjoy!